“But what is responsibility? Responsibility is something we face and something we may try to escape. The wisdom inherent in common speech thus suggests that there are counterforces operating in human beings which attempt to relieve them of their natural responsbileness. And in truth there is something about responsibility that resembles an abyss. The longer and the more profoundly we consider it, the more we become aware of its awful depths – until a kind of giddiness overcomes us. For as soon as we lend our minds to the essence of human responsibility, we cannot forbear to shudder; there is something fearful about man’s responsibility. But at the same time something glorious! It is fearful to know that at this moment we bear the responsibility for the next, that every decision from the smallest to the largest is a decision for all eternity, that at every moment we bring to reality – or miss – a possibility that exists only for the particular moment…” (The Doctor and the Soul, note, p. 35)
Responsibility is a double-edged sword. I recoil from it and dash to meet it at the same time. It’s frightening to think about the literally endless repercussions for all time, of what I’m about to do or say or even think.
On the other hand as Frankl says, it’s “glorious.” It’s exciting and challenging. It drives my adrenaline. I feel so very good about myself when I’m able to do something important and to make a difference in the world.
If responsibility is so wonderful, why can’t I just take it? The answer is, it’s not so simple. Even if it seems to me that I’m doing the right thing, I may fail to accomplish it. Furthermore, even if something good comes out of it, nothing in this world is perfect; something bad might also come out of it. I can never know the entirety of the consequences of my actions.
Why is responsibility frightening? I lack awareness.
I don’t know if the person I’m talking to has just lost her husband. I don’t know that this person is struggling with allergies and I’m complaining about my food limitations. I don’t notice that someone is feeling insecure and needs moral support. I’m out of touch with how tired I feel and so I run to help with a community project.
I end up hurting myself or others. I say something insensitive. Even if I am aware of what I could accomplish, maybe the task at hand is difficult, or maybe it’s easy to do but I just don’t feel like doing it. There are levels of awareness, and the more conscious I am of how important it is, the more motivated I will be.
There’s a price to pay for responsibility and the currency is commitment to develop conscience. In Jewish terminology it’s called accessing da’at (internalized knowledge, particularly through attentiveness) and being God-fearing.
Adults are responsible. Children are not. There is good reason for this. Adults are aware of the consequences of their actions and children are not. Adulthood comes with a price: responsibility.
Attentiveness is a learned behavior. The capacity to be God-fearing can be developed.
But more on that tomorrow. My conscience is telling me I better get to my exercise…