From the initial thought to take the brownie from the freezer to the moment of eating it was not a smooth one, my friend reported. First she ate an apple instead, as if to placate herself. But the craving grew even stronger and insisted, like a little brat, “No, no, no! It is not an apple that I want, but a chocolate brownie!” She went to the freezer and peeked inside. “No, you must not eat this,” she said to herself. “You’re allergic, and it will make you sick.” She took a rice cake with cottage cheese. She went back again to the freezer, and back again to busy herself with doing something. Finally, she broke down and ravenously ate the brownie.
Frankl observes the inner objections that come up such as, “But I have to” or “I won’t be able to resist it.” He suggests that if instead you tell yourself repeatedly: “There will be no drinking – and that’s all there is to it! ” you will be on the right path. (p. 86) Alcoholics anonymous has a full and successful program, and recovery is not the point of this discussion. The question is how, when we are successful at it, do we rise above our instincts?
I want to relate to the self-talk of thinking that I might do something, as opposed to the self-talk of putting it completely out of the realm of possibility. I find it very curious, for example, that if I have eaten a meat dish, and then a milk dish is placed before me before six hours have gone by, I have no trouble whatsoever refusing it, as hungry as I might be and as delicious as it might smell. In my mind, I have put it beyond the pale.
On the other hand, if I’m given something to eat that is kosher, even if it’s not ideal for my health, I won’t have that same shrinking back reaction. Yet, something has shifted in me. I’m determined not to eat sugar, and I can go someplace where all kinds of enticing pastries are served and simply decide, to paraphrase Frankl, “There will be no eating – and that’s all there is to it!” There are still degrees. If it’s a rare occasion, and a particularly scrumptious cheesecake I’m likely to have a bite. But I can clearly track my thinking process.