As human beings, we don’t only have thoughts and emotions. We also think about our thoughts. We evaluate, formulate opinions and relate positively or negatively to our self-perceptions.
This human quality often serves us well, but sometimes we can use it in ways that are detrimental.
If you’re obsessed with thoughts that you would like to remove from your mind, it won’t help to tell yourself not to think about them, as if you can force them to go away.
The more you try not to think about pink elephants you’ll think about pink elephants. Instead, you can change your attitude towards yourself as someone who thinks about pink elephants.
Removing thoughts by sheer force is ineffectual. There are other ways to replace disturbing thoughts with healthier ones but we’re not discussing that right now. The point Frankl makes in this section of the book is that you will make the process easier if you first clarify how you are perceiving yourself, or how you identify yourself as someone having these thoughts.
If they are a sign to you that you are psychotic, then in addition to struggling to stop thinking these thoughts you will necessarily also fear having them, because not only do you want to stop thinking of pink elephants. You also don’t want to be psychotic.
Instead you can see yourself as someone who has been given this particular challenge in life, that you are meant to deal with. Removing the fear of what it means to you to have these thoughts will cause you to choose a different way to deal with it, and this will take away the pressure of trying hard to force yourself to not think about it.
Frankl illustrates an example of a different kind of obsessive thinking, in a man obsessed with the thought that he “should not” have gotten ill. So Frankl suggested to him that he has to stop contesting “God’s will,” and instead live a life that’s pleasing to God in spite of his illness. The man came to an acceptance of his fate and he reported that his condition was tremendously alleviated. (184-188)
It sounds too simple, but the most profound truths are the ones we already know intuitively. Instead of fighting where life is taking you, you can decide to trust that life is bringing you to a place you need to go to, and then do what you need to do there. Instead of fighting against what is not in your control, you can take control.