You’ll feel good about yourself if you’re aware of your preciousness and goodness because that’s who you naturally are and you’ll feel good about yourself if you’re aware of your vulnerabilities because then you’ll look for strategies to stand up to life’s tests and struggles.
On one hand consciousness makes us aware of our preciousness, of our shining light and natural connection to God. On the other hand consciousness makes us aware of our vulnerability and susceptibility to err.
Part of the meaning of awareness is in knowing that there is a force for good and a counter-force for evil in the world. The choice we’re presented with every day is whether we will choose life and goodness or death and evil.
The choice is yours what to stick to. Once you choose what to stick to everything else follows. You can’t possibly stick to evil at the same time that you’re sticking to good and if you stick to evil it’s impossible to stick to good.
However, making the moral choice is only the beginning of the work. You want to do the right thing and suddenly you experience resistance. It’s only after you’ve made the moral choice that life sends tests and challenges your way. That’s when the real struggle begins.
The way to stand up to the tests is to take hold of the will to do good that’s in you and be prepared with a strategy for success.
In every good habit there is potential for resistance. You break the resistance by getting your negative impulses on board with you so that they also agree to serve the good.
One Biblical text that teaches us about this process is Hava in the garden of Eden. She accepted upon herself what she thought would be a good practice. If eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil is forbidden to her, she decided she won’t even touch the tree. That way she certainly won’t end up eating it.
But she experienced resistance from the snake (the force for resistance to good in the world). “There! You see? You touched the tree and nothing bad happened to you. So also nothing will happen if you eat it!” And eat it she did. She wasn’t prepared for how to deal with this resistance.
You can’t start a good habit without being prepared with how you’re going to deal with the resistance.
Can we fight evil at all? Maybe we really have no choice.
Job predated existentialist philosophers when he said man is determined and we are not responsible for our actions. He said “God, you created an ox with split hooves and you created a donkey with un-split hooves. You created heaven and you created hell. You created righteous people and you created evil people. Who can prevent you from doing what you do?”.In other words it’s all God’s fault. No one is at fault for anything they do wrong. There is no personal responsibility. We are determined in our actions.
Job’s friends answered him: “You are causing people to shirk their responsibility and shut off their dialogue with God. Yes, God created impulses for wrongdoing but God also created Torah as a healing salve.”
Why didn’t Job’s friends answer by saying “What you’re saying is not true. You do have a choice!” How is their answer about “Torah” an answer to Job?
When Job said “God, you created righteous” what does this mean? How exactly did God create people to be righteous? – By creating the desire for good. And when Job said “God, you created evil people,” how exactly did God create evil people? – By creating impulses for wrongdoing. Job thought, their instincts are forcing them into it. They have no choice. (Rashi)
Job’s friends didn’t say “You’re wrong. You do have a choice” because the real work is not in the choice to do good. We naturally want to do good! The real work is the work of standing up to life’s tests and challenges that come only after the initial choice to do good is made. The challenges cause us to lose our sense of direction and to feel we have no choice.
That’s why they answered: Torah is the remedy that God created, as it provides strategies with which to fight the battle that comes after the initial choice in favor of good.
Whether your strategies come from Torah or from somewhere else people are people and we all share the same need for strategies in the struggle to do what’s right for us.
Consciousness of our inner goodness allows us to harness the power of desire for good that’s naturally in us. Consciousness of our weaknesses and of susceptibilities allows us to devise the right strategy for dealing with our particular challenges.
(from Pirkei Kinyan Da’at p. 40)