I recently saw an NICABM video where the therapists treating a dying young man felt at a loss as to how to respond to his request.
He wanted spiritual guidance. The therapist described being unprepared by traditional psychology to help him. There was a gap in most approaches to psychology, which were afraid to broach subjects like religion and spirituality.
It made me think. First of all it affirmed my conviction of the need for logotherapy in the helping professions. Unlike most approaches it does deal with purpose and meaning in life and it’s not afraid to discuss values and faith. Logotherapy is careful not to impose the therapist’s faith but helps the client get in touch with his own.
On second thought I wondered: Can we learn from the dying person at all? How can we possibly learn from him? His body has been stripped bare of substance so that all that’s left is spirit. We can’t live that way. If we lived as disembodied spirits we wouldn’t put on make-up or wear that nice new outfit for the party. We wouldn’t do physical exercise to keep our bodies in shape. And we’re not supposed to ignore our bodies.
Since we can’t really be like the dying person we shrug our shoulders and put spiritual awakening into our back pocket as a reminder for the distant future: “When I’m dying I will look for spiritual content to my life.” But of course by then it will be too late.
Is there anything we can take with us from the dying person’s experience to use right now? Is there any connection between the spiritual awareness of the dying and the spiritual awareness of the living? (A related question: Is logotherapy, as it deals with the spiritual dimension in man useful only in settings such as these?) What is the here-and-now equivalent to the awareness of spirituality at the end of life?
I remember when my father was dying I was looking at his shoes next to the bed and thinking: He’s not going to wear these anymore. Life is about walking, moving, doing, changing. Death and the dying are finished. They’re at the end of the road.
The Maharal of Prague who was a famous Jewish thinker (and ancestor of Viktor Frankl, by the way) said that man has an earthly and a heavenly aspect to him (Avot 2:7). Clouds are always moving and changing. The aspect of being involved in constant change is the ‘heavenly’ or spiritual aspect of a person. Perfection is not possible in this world. Perfection is defined as change.
At the end of a lifetime change is no longer possible. Instead there is a wealth of all the spiritual treasures that the person has amassed and takes with him.
The spiritual awakening that we can learn from the dying person is to know that the spiritual treasure we will take with us in the end comes in material packaging now. We’re not supposed to be seeking pure spirituality. We’re supposed to be finding values and spiritual meaning in everyday life.
Every time we change and grow and develop spiritually we create another spiritual treasure that we will take with us – and another, and another and another. Every concrete act of love, every admission of mistake, every show of appreciation…
It’s funny that as I was jogging and contemplating these ideas this morning someone honked her horn and smiled at me to say hello as I passed. Many years ago I had had an unfortunate encounter with her. I didn’t handle the situation well. But I’ve changed and I would not do the same thing today. I think that we are both mature enough to understand this and rise above it. We’ve both changed.
We should continue to put on our make-up. We’re not dead yet. But unlike the dying person who has nothing but spirituality left, we can still change and create spirituality out of material containers.