Body and spirit have different interests. They speak different languages. They have different goals. What is in my self-interest, as a person composed of both body and spirit?
It is in the body’s self-interest and my overall self-interest to put the crown on spirit’s head.
The body’s self-interest is self-defeating. It lacks the ability to evaluate. It cannot know when to stop and it cannot prioritize.
Eating disorders occur to some extent because the person has turned off the spirit’s evaluative function. Eventually a pattern is established wherein the person loses the capacity to choose. There are still choices but they are made along different lines than they were before the disorder. In addition to the discussion around one’s relationship to food, the work is about locating the point of choice that remains intact.
Emotions are another example of self-interest. A mother looks helplessly on while her child is having a tantrum. A person is depressed and can’t get out of bed. Someone cut ahead of you in line. A person suffers from grief.
Fighting against and obsessing over emotions are different ways of dealing with them when the body is put in the seat of control. The end result is feeling like a victim. The emotions intensify in strength and do damage outside and in. Nothing positive comes of it. The child continues to scream until, exhausted, he falls asleep. The depressed person stays in bed. The person in line lashes out in anger. The grief lasts beyond its natural course.
The sure sign that spirit is in the seat of control is acknowledging and honoring emotions.
Honoring and allowing emotions to just be releases them.
Along with honoring comes evaluating. What value is at the source of my anger or frustration? A value that I care about, that is highly important to me, was stepped on or ignored.
Listening with compassion, giving one’s self unconditional love and support and picking up the value-message is a sign that spirit is in charge.
The child raging about the toy is actually asking for attention. The depressed person feels his life is empty and needs to find a new purpose in life. The person in line stands up for herself with quiet self-assurance. The grieving person stays with the grief until it runs its course. In these scenarios the lines of communication between body and spirit are open.
Therefore, a good reason to put spirit in the seat of control is self-interest. The physical body only considers its own needs. The spirit considers both its own and the body’s needs.