Do bothersome thoughts ever keep you from moving forward in life? Do distractions get in your way?
You want to learn to swim, give a speech or play the violin. Yes, you think you should succeed. There’s no reason why not. However, you doubt yourself, and because you’re anticipating failure or you’re trying so hard to succeed, you fail. You simply cannot perform well when you’re obsessively focused on watching yourself instead of concentrating on the task at hand.
You can be doing very well, and as soon as someone points out how great you’re playing the piano piece you get all flustered and you can’t do it anymore.
The same happens when worries, stress, and physical, emotional or existential pain are distracting you. Other thoughts are crowding out focused attention. This is a major problem for students in school when stressful events are hurting their ability to concentrate.
It’s like a fly constantly buzzing in your ear. The “fly” is your self-focus.
Dereflection is a logotherapeutic technique that was designed to counter the self-preoccupation of anticipatory anxiety and worry. In applying this technique, you deliberately turn your attention to something you value and care about more than the problem, and this takes you away from the self-focus that’s trapping you.
The idea is to imitate the naturalness of a child at play, who is so absorbed in what he or she is doing, that s/he completely forgets about him or herself.
However, why is the distraction there in the first place? If you’re in pain, your body or your spirit is telling you something you need to know. It’s acting like a child screaming “Pay attention to me!”
Dereflection is not meant to be oblivious to the root cause of the problem, allowing the problem to get progressively worse. It’s meant to be a tool for self-mastery, in cases where continuing to think about the problem only makes it worse.
You don’t ignore the distraction; you think about it in a different way. You engage in dialogue with the distraction to find out what it’s calling your attention to.
Is it reminding you that you need to relax, that you need to let go of what’s not in your control, or that someone needs your help?
Talking about the distraction in an atmosphere where you feel heard allows you to interpret its meaning, so that you can tend to the tasks the distraction requires of you, after which it stops distracting you.
Distractions are great teachers.