The first step in overcoming obstacles is to know that you are not your problem. You are not your fears. You must wrench yourself free from the quicksand of identification with failings before you can even begin to overcome these same failings.
The negative statement “I am not…” by itself does not register in our consciousness.
What am I? “I am a person who happens to have these fears and these problems…”
That won’t do either. I repeat: If I am not my problem who is this person that I am?
After getting what I felt to be an answer to this question (in my study-session of the book Alei Shur) an uplifting serenity washed over me
The “I” is the essential self that feels, thinks, dreams, strives, evaluates and decides. The “I” is a voice coming from within that says “I” feel pain and “I” feel pleasure. The “I” speaks whenever “I” has something important to say. The “I” strives to fulfill its dreams. The “I” thinks and evaluates. The “I” relates to itself and to every other “I” in the world.
The “I” is eternal. After life as we know it in this world has ended the primal spiritual pain and pleasure remains, even though no bodily sensations are manifest. What remains is the naked soul stripped of all its material substance, exposing the innermost meaning-content of all the concrete activities performed in this world.
In logotherapy we talk about finding the meaning of the moment. Meaning isn’t something to go in search of in a far away desert island so we can come back triumphantly proclaiming “I’ve found the meaning, I’ve found the meaning!”
Meaning is all around us. At any given moment there are a multitude of messages – from people in one’s immediate environment, from one’s body, emotions and thoughts, echoes of memories from the past and dreams of the future.
We carry on dialogue with life, we struggle with life and we learn from life. Every encounter brings the constant refrain: What is the opportunity here? How am I meant to make this moment meaningful?
In the end, if we are to be true to our self, it is the “I” alone that decides.
What was uplifting to me about this?
Perhaps this idea was uplifting to me because it describes the “I” as eternal. It is “what remains.” But I think there is another reason that made it transformative for me.
This awareness gave me a sense of coming home to myself, of radiating outward from an inner space of pure, unadulterated identity. It is the “I” speaking. I am who I am and I will not, must not lose that.
From that place I can confidently and fearlessly tell someone I disagree with him. From that place I can hear about someone elses success without a shred of jealousy in my heart, and feel elated and be fully supportive of what they are doing. – They are doing this because of who they are and I am doing what I’m doing because of who I am. And if I’m not doing what I have to do, it has nothing to do with them. From that place I can always regain my balance and ask myself: Is this behavior or attitude the permanent imprint I want to make on the world? Is this “I” that I am becoming by doing this the “I” that I want to remain forever? Is this the I that I am?