Friends and family members can have annoying habits sometimes. How can you live with it? Here are six simple tips.
1) When something rubs you the wrong way, you tend to magnify it. See the person as a whole, and play around with putting your focus on the person’s good points and magnifying those instead. As the irritating habit appears more minor it becomes less irritating.
2) Tell them in a compassionate way that it bothers you, and why it bothers you. Alternatively, tell them why you think it would be helpful to them to change. Preface this by saying that this is just a minor thing, but that doing this will make them into a more effective communicator. Use this with caution, and be genuine.
3) Remember that if they didn’t have this bad habit, they would probably not have other good qualities that they have. For example, a bad planner is also easygoing about things not working out their way. Changing behavior patterns requires sorting out what’s good from what’s bad. It’s usually a package deal. You wouldn’t really want them to throw out their good traits. By recognizing the complexity of change you can be more patient.
4) Look for the good motive. Often, underlying a negative trait is a good intention that comes out wrong from your point of view.
5) Use their behavior to figure out that they need. They may be frustrated or angry or anxious because they have an unmet need and, feeling helpless about it, their feelings are coming out in nonconstructive ways. Decide whether you can help them meet this need or help them to help themselves.
6) Don’t forget that you, too, have bad habits, just different ones. Don’t look at them from a position of superiority just because you’ve got different work to do in the world. The most annoying habit is being annoyed at other people’s habits.