In school, a test can prove we’ve mastered the material. This brings a sense of accomplishment. Moreover, it motivates and encourages you to continue to learn the next higher level of material.
Unfortunately, our educational system is not built this way. Instead of using the test as a way to define and tackle the next goal, the purpose is only to make the grade.
On the other hand, if you haven’t mastered the material, tests can be very useful tools for determining what is missing from your understanding and which skills you need to sharpen. Instead of using tests as the powerful assessment tools that they are, we have gotten used to viewing them as condemnatory proofs of failure.
We then take this same perception of tests in school with us into life. Any time you are challenged by a situation to lower your stress, to be patient or to have compassion, it’s a test, and just as there are two different ways to view school tests, there are two different ways to view life tests.
You can view passing the test as the all-important goal. In this case, a positive self-concept is contingent upon successfully passing the test, and excelling becomes justification for looking down with condescension at others who didn’t.
However, if you view the test as an assessment tool, you can benefit tremendously. It allows you to look at yourself objectively and notice what you’ve mastered and how you want to change.
An experience that stimulated this thought for me is the stress I was experiencing over the mold in our house. Many objective situations are considered inherently stressful. Some (ex. suffering a loss) we have no choice over and others (ex. getting married) we choose despite the stress involved.
Whatever happens, it’s only a test. How resilient are you? To what extent can you keep your cool with others? When pushed beyond your tolerance, you learn about yourself. If you were not provoked in this way, i.e. if you were never tested you would never know what you are capable of and you would never know where you still have work to do. It’s all a wonderful learning experience!