The third necessary precondition for change is to want to change. Obviously, if you don’t want to change you won’t put any effort or intention into it, and nothing will change.
The more important question is this: There are a lot of things you can try to do. How can you get yourself to want to do something?
What allows you to admit you need to change is knowing that:
You are a precious spiritual being that is also one-of-a-kind in your singularity.
Your fallibility does not in the slightest negate your unconditional worth.
What defines human perfection is being in a process of growth.
Your vulnerability is actually a good thing because you could not move forward if you never had trials to learn from.
When all of these truths become clear to you, not only will you easily admit that you need to change. You’ll want to change. You’ll feel that as long as you’re not engaged in a process of self-evaluation and change, you’re not alive!
If you very much want to engage with others with more intimacy, and if you long to thrive and to freely “be yourself,” you’ll want to look at your emotional reactions to learn what core beliefs are holding you back.
When you see your life this way, it will be a journey to find your personal path to your authentic self.
The way of your personal path is paved with learning stones that mold and transform you into the unique spark of the Divine you were designed to be.
As a colleague of mine once said, “We are not human beings. We are human becomings.”